I found this line from the War Room movie very instructive….. “I find out that of all the battles we fight today whether it be for control, money, or matter of the heart, very few of us know how to fight the right way and who we are fighting against. To fight any battle you must have the right strategy and resources because victory doesn’t come by accident.” __ War Room Movie
Couples hear this, when you experience roughness in your relationship like fights, arguments and constant quarrels, it is good to sit down and discover who the enemy really is. Your spouse is not the devil. The one that comes to sow the seed of discord, that comes to introduce the third voice, the one that comes to steal, kill and destroy….that is the devil and he is your enemy.
When you recognize who the enemy is then your battle strategy will be well targeted. If the battle is spiritual, you will do well to fight with spiritual weapons because your physical weapons will be of no effect. The physical weapons of arguments, fighting, quarrels, cursing and silent treatments against your spouse will not in the least handle the battle between you and your spouse. You need some spiritual weapons.
4 The weapons we use in our fight are not the world’s weapons but God’s powerful weapons, which we use to destroy strongholds. We destroy false arguments; 5 we pull down every proud obstacle that is raised against the knowledge of God; we take every thought captive and make it obey Christ.6 And after you have proved your complete loyalty, we will be ready to punish any act of disloyalty. 2 Corinthians 4:10-6
Since you cannot win the battle with physical weapons, you need some spiritual weapons. These include making your heart right with God, the word of God which is the Bible, prayer, faith in God that He will do what He says He will do. As the Lord begin to change your heart, He will reach out through you to your spouse and peace, joy and love will return into your relationship.