Friday 19 January 2018
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What I learned about marriage from my Older neighbors


It is said that when you see someone who has been where you are going, it would be wise to ask him questions. Jim Rohn said it better. He said, “if you are travelling on a dark and dangerous road; and you see a man coming from the opposite direction with some bruises on his body, torn clothes and mud all over him you would do well buying him some coffee and asking questions.

This morning my wife and I went to my neighbor’s house ostensibly to thank them for giving us such wonderful cookies on father’s day. We learned that they have been married for 61 years!!!; have 7 grown children, 12 grandchildren and 8 great grandchildren so far. What a Couple!!! I am sure that’s God’s definition of Success in marriage.

61 years of marriage means that they have been to where we are going and those numbers are the bruises, the torn clothes and the mud which is more than enough reason to buy them a coffee and ask them questions. Suddenly our 23 years of marriage felt like 23 months. To put it in perspective, we have 7 more years to reach the milestone that this couple reached 31 years ago. Smh.

How did they do it? Did they ever think of divorce and separation? Was it all good all the time? Did any of them cheat on the other? The woman said “yes” to all the questions, her husband cheated on her. What helped her? She said she stayed because she did not want her children to grow up without their father. “Divorce is not an option if you have children”.

The man admitted that he was not the best husband in the world because of what the military lifestyle overseas. He also said that he too thought about moving on many times but what helped him to stay with the same woman for 61 years was not only for the children but because of the fear of God.

Was it worth it? Finally I asked them if it was worth it? They both said yes without hesitating. The woman added, “We are blessed with a great family”. The man thought for a minute and said, “Having somebody [pointing at his wife] to grow old with and having a stable family made all those hurts worth it. Yes its worth it”