1. Understand yourself. One maxim of war is “know thyself” You cannot win any battle unless you know your strength and weakness. A few weeks ago I asked a young lady who was having problems with her husband a few questions.
I said, “Young lady you are in a battle to win your husband back and save your marriage, what is your biggest advantage going into the battle other than God?” Her eyes suddenly glowed as she said, “my husband thinks I am the most beautiful woman in the world and he loves to eat my food” Very well, I said, “What is your worst disadvantage?” “My husband says I don’t respect him and I am not good in bed.” Hmmmm!!! I said.
Then I asked her what she did when her husband stopped coming home after work? Well, “I talked to him about it, we argued about it and finally I told his mother which made the matter worse”. At that point I asked her if there was any significant change in their lives about the same time that her husband started coming home late.She thought for a moment and said, “Yes, I had our second baby, added a few pounds and could not cook as much as I used to because I had caesarian section surgery”.
I said Bingo! You went to battle and the first bullet that you fired was your weakest. Your husband is leaving you because he thinks you are disrespectful to him and the first thing you did was to argue with him and the second was to report him to his mother? Finally I asked her what she thought would have happened if she had cooked her husband’s favorite dish; put a sexy dress with a few make up and welcomed him with smile? She thought for minute and said, “I am hundred percent sure that I won’t be in this situation now.” Bingo!!!
2. Look at things the way they are and not the way you think they are. Another maxim of warfare says “know thin enemy”. The second step to winning any battle of life is to understand the enemy and the best way to understand the enemy is through objective assessment. You must avoid seeing the enemy or challenge with an emotion-clogged eye. The less emotional you are, the clearer the actual picture of the enemy or challenge. If the challenge is coming from an individual, review what the individual did as opposed to what he said. Action they say speaks louder than words.
Look out for Part 2