Friday 19 January 2018
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Affair Proofing Your Marriage

I must admit that I have only watched a clip of Tyler Perry’s movie “temptation” but the movie has an all too common plot. Temptation is ever present with us, around us and in us. Adam and Eve the father and mother of mankind were tempted and they failed. It seems like since then all we have done is deal with temptations from inside our relationship and outside our marriage.

Although we cannot avoid being tempted, there are things we can do to avoid falling into temptation. The bible says “… every man is tempted, when he is drawn away by his own lust, and enticed” James 1:14.

First of all you have ample opportunities to fall out of temptation. Fallen into temptation does not just happen because it involves a process. You have to be at the right place, the right time and with the right person. Either that or you have to be there long enough for those three factors to be present.

You cannot avoid affairs unless your recognize and respect the three zones of temptation. I call it the three “Ps” of temptation.

a. Places. We are usually tempted where we are relaxed and comfortable. These are the places we frequently spend long hours. These are your work place, your school, your house and your church. Your house? I know but when you invite people into your house it opens doors to all kinds of possibilities. You are relaxed in your house because you are in your house but the visitor is motivated because it’s an intimate invitation to invite people into your house. The other “soft targets” for hunters are the grocery store, the dry cleaners, the saloon or barber shop and the movie place. You are not likely to be seriously tempted at the bus stop, airport or train station but even when it occurs, you are less likely to fall for it because you are usually on your guard. What to do? Be aware of these possibilities and stay on your guard. Your coworkers and fellow students should know that it’s all business and nothing more. It should be clear to your launch buddy or over time buddy that it’s all work and no play.

b. People. The people you frequently spend time with are a source of temptation. The danger increases if you spend a lot of time with one particular person. Unless you make yourself clear from the beginning, chances are that one of you will be tempted long before you know it. Some of the culprits are coworkers, friends, fellow parishioners and business associates. Again our Achilles heel here is that we usually let our guard down with this people and before you know it things start happening. We cannot avoid being around people but we can draw the boundaries of what we can and cannot do. Once a man or a woman knows your boundaries they are likely to respect it until you redraw the boundary.

c. Passion. This one is a bit tricky but whatever you are passionate about takes all your attention. Unfortunately when your full attention is on your passion, the devil knows that you are not focusing on other things. For instance those who love to dance often open doors for the opposite sex to assume that the salsa dance will lead to other dance. Those men who are extraordinarily nice feed the wrong assumption that they are available. The people you were nice to wonder how nice it will be to have and keep men like you. What then do you do to avoid this trap? Keep your passion in context.

In all three situations the trick is to define who you are. Are you a married man or woman who happens to work at that place of work or a worker who happens to be married. Are you a dancer first before a married woman. How you define yourself determines who you end up being. Join us today at as we discuss “Overcoming temptation, Married Women Edition with Dr. Willene Abigail McClain and Susie Bailey.