Friday 19 January 2018
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Oneness in Marriage means Oneness in Ministry

Recently I was in a marriage conference where a woman asked whether it is right for her to trade her calling as a missionary for her husband’s calling as a pastor. According to her, she feels like she is disappointing God by abandoning her assignment. Besides, she does not feel fulfilled as a pastor’s wife and sitting in the front pew on Sunday mornings is not her idea of ministry.

And I said too bad sis, you are a pastor’s wife already. The moderator called for opinions and suggestions. Suggestions?  What did the bible say folks?  Before we find out lets recap what the woman was really asking.  Should a woman pursue her calling that is separate and apart from her husband’s calling. Does it matterthat she was called and established before the marriage.

I still say too bad sis, a woman should not have a calling separate and apart from her husband’s calling and no it does not matter that she was in Afghanistan winning Taliban souls before her marriage. And a man should not have a calling separate and apart from his wife too.


Now let’s look at what the maker of marriage meant when He made this beautiful institution in His infinite wisdom.                             

God created the first man and the first woman and gave them the assignment to be fruitful, multiply and live in dominion over all His creation.  God’s purpose therefore is for man and woman to work together to reproduce their kind and manage His estate.

The question then is how did God intend for man and woman to work together?  Should the woman insist on the man going to Afghanistan with her first and pursuing the man’s calling later or vice versa. I still say No, I don’t think so.

 Although God did not announce Adam as the head of the team, there are ample suggestions in their brief interaction that Adam was the intended head of the team. First God made Eve the helper suggesting that Adam is the head.  Second God demanded explanation from Adam after they both sinned.  Furthermore, and perhaps more emphatic is when God said to the woman, “Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you” Genesis 3:16

Does this then mean that the ministry of Adam the head takes priority over the ministry of Eve the helper? May be Yes, May be No.

The truth is that God did not mean for us to have assignments separate and apart from each other. He is not an author of confusion and conflict.  God’s plan is for oneness in purpose, oneness in process and oneness in permanence. The phrase “and the two shall become one”, means  that the goals and aspirations (including callings) of the couples become one and remain one till death.